The Model BS-1 “Uranus” is a precision field polygraph wired to the public record of Project Jupiter — the $165,000,000,000 Oracle / OpenAI / STACK data-center campus in Santa Teresa, Doña Ana County. The electrodes are clipped to documents, not to people. The documents have been sweating anyway.
The needle reports the documented gap between what was said about Project Jupiter and what the enforceable record actually contains — announced numbers vs. approved numbers, promises vs. permit conditions, press releases vs. site conditions. It is calibrated in kilo-BS (kBS), the standard field unit.
Every deflection below is footnoted to a published source or public record. The needle position is the Bureau's editorial opinion; the receipts are not. Subjects whose documented actions consist of asking for evidence, voting no, investigating fraud, or saying “no” to a pipeline are used as the control group — their needles rest quietly, which is how we know the machine works.
Each event below is a real, sourced entry in the Project Jupiter paper trail. Press TEST to send it through the machine.
Gov. Michelle Lujan Grisham's office unveils Project Jupiter as a $5 billion partnership with BorderPlex Digital Assets. Source NM
The same project is now 33 times larger. Doña Ana County commissioners approve the largest industrial revenue bond in state history. Commitments on paper: 750 full-time jobs, 50 part-time, 2,500 construction. El Paso Matters KRWG
Construction begins within weeks of the vote — “heavy equipment moving massive amounts of earth” across several hundred acres, visible from Highway 9 — while the air permits that would govern the campus's own power plant are still undecided. Source NM
Residents file two suits seeking court review, alleging commissioners green-lit a project with an incomplete application. ABQ Journal Haussamen
The state's own reviewers rule the microgrid air-quality applications incomplete — for a campus already under construction. Source NM
After 4,500+ opposing comments, Acoma LLC withdraws turbine applications 10732 and 10734 — and the project returns under a new name (Yucca Growth Infrastructure) with a new plan: 2,275 Bloom Energy fuel cells, application 10883. Same campus, new letterhead. New Energy Economy Action Network
A Project Jupiter water-use claim “rankles opponents and supporters” alike. When your allies flinch at your math, the needle moves on its own. Haussamen
Commissioners adopt a resolution directing the county manager and two commissioners to “verify the accuracy of recent public statements” by the developers and determine “whether any project details differ from those originally presented to the Board.” The Bureau notes this is our exact job description, adopted as county policy, seven months after the vote. KRWG County
Doña Ana County says Project Jupiter's developers blew through required job-reporting deadlines. The first homework assignment of the largest bond in state history: late. ABQ Journal
Residents of three cities say their names were used without permission on letters urging NMED to approve the air permit, after canvassers in Project Jupiter T-shirts came to their doors; public officials in Albuquerque and Taos report being impersonated in supportive comments. NMED confirms fraudulent comments were submitted, adds email verification to its portal, and the state Department of Justice opens an investigation. The machine wishes to stress it did not write any of the letters. Organ Mtn News KRQE KRWG
Land Commissioner Stephanie Garcia Richard blocks a Project Jupiter–related pipeline from crossing state trust land. The first hard “no” the project has heard from a statewide office; the needle briefly visited the green zone and asked what it was. Source NM
Four Doña Ana County state senators host a town hall at NMSU and back a data-center moratorium. The formal NMED hearing on air permit 10883 follows on Sept 14, 2026 — the enforceable part. Bring the field companion. ABQ Journal
Every “documented touch” below is sourced. The kBS reading is the Bureau's satirical editorial opinion of the gap between each subject's public posture and the enforceable record — it is not a factual claim that anyone lied, and the machine is, legally speaking, a cartoon.